Well, the beta came back negative.

My beta is this Wednesday. This has been the slowest 10 days of my life. I have googled so many different possible symptoms, I don't know what to do with myself. I. am. literally. going. crazy.

One Shot Transfer

Yesterday was our embryo transfer. We were scheduled to be there at 12:00. At 10:30, our doctor called us and said that one of our embryos had stopped growing. That conversation made me so nervous for what was to come. We still had one little embryo that had reached blastocyst, which is what we had hoped and prayed for.
Here is a picture of our little embryo that they gave us befor the transfer. Kirby and I said right now it looked like a scalloped potato. So, we decided to nickname it Tater. :) Kirby said we sound so country when we say it.

The transfer itself went pretty quickly. The whole procedure lasted maybe 10 minutes. After the transfer, the doctor told me to lay there for 30 minutes and then we were free to go. We were told to take it easy over the next couple of days. I may or may not be taking it to the extreme, because I have been laying in ned since we got home yesterday. With the exception of getting up to use the bathroom.
At this point we have literally done everything we can to make this a success. Now it's up to God to finish the job. We're just hoping and praying that our little Tater grabs on and sticks!

We have embryos!

Our doctor called us yesterday to update us on our eggs. She said that of the five they retrieved, four of them were mature. Of those that were mature, two were able to fetilize. So right now, we have two little embryos. We have a lot riding on these two little embryos. Our doctor is going to call us tomorrow and let us know if they are still growing. If everthing looks good, our transfer will be Sunday afternoon!Now we just have to sit and wait...

Egg Retrieval Day!

Today was the day! We arrived at the center at 7:45 this morning. Our egg retrieval was scheduled for 9:00, but we were told to be there an hour early. The nurse took us both back to a recovery room where I signed a few more consents and changed into my lovely hospital gown attire, complete with orange and white striped socks. The nurse started my IV and took me back to the operating room. Kirby went back to the waiting room to wait, and I assume play about 1000 games of Bejeweled on his phone. When I got to the OR the nurse had me lay back as they pumped the meds into me. They had music (Mumford & Sons) playing in the background, which helped to relax me. After the medicine kicked in and I dozed off they began the retrieval. The only thing I remember is feeling sharp, shooting pains in my uterus every couple of minutes. One of the nurses was holding my hand and I would squeeze it when the pain came. After the procedure they walked me to the recovery room to wake up. I briefly remember hearing the nurse tell me that they had retrieved 5 eggs. They wrote it on my hand so that I wouldn't forget,

The nurse brought Kirby back to wait with me.

I had almost no pain when I finally woke up. I think this is because I didn't have very many follicles. Here is Kirby keeping me company. Notice his nervousness...his foot is going a mile a minute. :)

Finally, I changed back into my clothes and the nurse walked me out to my car. The doctor is going to call us tomorrow around lunchtime to tell us how many, if any, eggs fertilized. If everything goes as planned we will have our embryo transfer on Sunday evening!

Trigger shot

Kirby had to give me the HCG trigger shot tonight. We were both so nervous!

I think the preparation for the shot was more nerve-racking than the acual shot itself! Everything went fine though, and hopefully this is a success!

We're Almost There!

Kirby and I went to our U/S today. The dr. said that I have about 6 follicles that we are still watching. This is a significantly low number, as expected, but the doctors still seem confidant. We have our LAST U/S on Sunday morning. We will be given an exact time to do the HCG injection, which has to be done exactly 35 hours before the egg retrieval. Then the egg retrieval is going to be on Tuesday. I'm getting soo nervous. I'm trying to give it all to God and have complete faith, but at the same time not set myself up for disappointment. I'm just overall very excited that we're finally to this point.

Lifestyle change

I am going to try to help this process along as much as I can. I haven't been doing a very good job of making healthy choices when it comes to my lifestyle. I'm making a change...
*Exercise-I haven't been walking like I'd like to, or like I use to. It's so hot outside, it's hard to find the right time. I'm going to start walking again, even if I have to walk around Wal-Mart to beat the heat.
*Water- I need to lay off the caffiene and pick up some water. I usually have at least one soda a day. While that's not terrible, I'd like to limit sodas to maybe once or twice a week.
*Diet-When it comes to my food choices...let's just say I'm an emotional eater. Some things I've read include:
*Pineapple-The compound Bromelin, found in pineapple is believed by many to increase the chances of success. Bromelin can dissolve the proteins which may inhibit implantation. Take an average sized pineapple and divide it into 5 portions. Eat a portion a day beginning with embryo transfer day.
*Spinach-Folic acid is one of the most important nutrients to consume while going through the IVF procedure, as well as once you become pregnant. Spinach is a sound source of folic acid, which will ensure healthy implantation as well as help prevent certain birth defects. Folic acid also contributes to the early development of an embryo. Eat a spinach salad or add spinach to pasta sauce. Other leafy greens, as well as orange juice, are additional sources of folic acid.

Moving right along

Today was a big day for us. We had our baseline ultrasound and then a hysteroscopy. The baseline showed that I have 9 follicles that they could see. 5 on one side and 4 on the other. I'm hoping that the medicine continues working and they grow! Speaking of growing follicles, here is a fuuny conversation between Erica and I.

The hysteroscopy went great as well! The doctor said there are no cysts or fibroids or anything. Everything is perfect! Praising the Lord!
So we are moving right along with IVF. I will start taking 81 mg of baby Aspirin on Thursday. I will also start my Menopur and Follistim injections. Our next ultrasound is next Wednesday. :)

IVF Meds. Whoa.

We received our package in the mail yesterday!

Wow.

We basically have a pharmacy on our kitchen table.

On a related note, I started my Sub-Q Lupron injections today. It was the first injection I've ever had to give myself. It wasn't bad at all. I was soo nervous I wouldn't be able to do it. When I finished, Kirby looked up from the couch where he was sitting and said, "Hey! You're finished!? I wanted to watch!" Glad he's so supportive. :)

Feeling Optimistic

Kirby and I had our appointment today to basically (HA!) go over everything we need to know about the IVF process. We also had to sign a couple consent forms and have more bloodwork done. I got my medication schedule...yikes!

I have been on birth control since last week. I will stay on that until the 15th. I'm also taking 800 mcg of Folic Acid and 75 mg of DHEA. Next Wednesday I will start my Sub-Q (in my tummy) Lupron injections. I'll do that all the way up until the egg retrieval. I will start Follistim and Menopur (which are also sub-q injections) on the 19th and continue those until the egg retrieval as well. After the retrieval, I will begin Progesterone, Estrogen, Prednisolone, Ganirelix, and Doxycycline. We haven't been able to pin point the exact date yet, but the estimated date of the egg retrieval will be somewhere between July 31 and August 1. Because my egg count is lower than it should be, my doctor said she doesn't expect to retrieve a huge amount. (Typically they are happy with 15 or more. In my case they would be happy with about 8.) I will know that day how many eggs were retrieved. The eggs are then going to be ferilized with the help of ICSI. On hopefully day 5, we will go back in for the transfer!

"What God Meant"

I found this poem when I came across this blog about another couple going through the IVF process. I often wonder "Why me, God?". Why do we have to go through this painful journey of infertility? I may never know the answer to the why, but this poem may be what God meant for us.

"What God Meant"
Author Unknown

"What do I think God meant when He gave me infertility?
I think He meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper.

I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down.

I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols.

I think God meant for us to find a cure for fertility.

No, God never meant for me to not have children.

That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on.

I've been placed on the road less traveled, and like it or not,
I'm a better person for it.

Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution,
and I won't let Him down.

Frankly, if the truth be known,
I think God singled me out for special treatment.

**I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms,
it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.**

While I would never have chosen infertility,
I cannot deny that a fertile woman could ever experience the joy that I know awaits me.
Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own.
And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice,
I'll say,
"Don't tell me what God meant when He handed me infertility.

I already know."

3rd time's a charm?

Well, the second IUI was no good. I took a test on Sunday that was negative. I had a blood test scheduled for June 27. I prayed that the at home test was just taken too soon. Although, I didn't have much faith. When I went in for the blood test I told the nurse I was pretty sure it would be negative. We decided to go ahead and schedule an appointment to start the IVF process. Sure enough, I got the call later that confirmed the negative test. I have an appointment scheduled for Monday to talk to the IVF specialist. They told us the appointment would take about 2 hours and we would go over everything we need to know...

First try and no luck

The title says it all. This month was a no go for us. Our next IUI will be June 11. I will be able to take a test on June 27 to see if it worked.

First IUI!

We have our first IUI scheduled for May 17! Then I will go in for a blood test on May 30 to see if it worked!!

We Have a Game Plan!

We got our test results back. There were some pretty interesting results. Apparently I have the eggs of about a 35 year old. The doctor said female fertility and egg quality peak around the age of 27 and begin to decline in a woman's 30s. While a woman is physically able to carry a pregnancy to term well into her forties, the quality of the eggs produced by a woman’s ovaries begins to significantly decline starting around the age of 35. From my test results, it seems I probably peaked at age 12 and have been slowly in decline since. Our doctor told us that with my eggs and Kirby's sperm, our most probable chance of conception would be through In Vitro Fertilization. However, because of the high cost of IVF, he recommended we go ahaead and try IUI for the first 2 months.

Worst Advice

When people find out Kirby and I are trying to get pregnant, mostly they are very sweet and thoughtful. But, other times I think instead of saying something "smart" or "funny" it's better to say nothing at all. These are taken from The Bump, but every one of these statements have been said to me at one time or another.
1. "Just relax and it will happen."
2. "Just relax. I know couples who've made themselves infertile because they stressed themselves out so much." Really? NOW I can relax.
3. “Don't think about it because if you do you will jinx it.” Really? I didn't know brain activity affected fertility.
4. “When you stop trying it will happen.” How does one NOT try while trying?
5. “Everything happens for a reason.” Ugh
6. "You have all the time in the world. don't rush into things!" Well, according to my body (and doctor) I do NOT have all the time in the world.
GRRR.

Next.

So, I had my ultrasound on Wednesday and I also took in Kirby's SA. We haven't gotten the results of the SA yet. I'm not sure when we will hear about that. My u/s was much better than expected. Everything is good to go. They did some bloodwork but I haven't heard the results from that. The dr ordered a SDFA for Kirby, which should arrive in the mail tomorrow. Once we mail that back, we just have to wait until the first day of my cycle. Then I am supposed to call and set up an appointment to have more bloodwork done on me. THEN, after all of that is complete and the results are in, we will set up ANOTHER appointment and finally find out what are options are.

Wow, it's been a long time.

I just reread my last post and realized how long it's been and how things have or haven't changed. First off, we ended up not taking a break from trying. We are still going at it. We had our first appointment with a new doctor here. He went over a blue print of some more tests we need to have done. Hopefully, FINALLY, by next month we should know what we are going to do. I bought an OPK today and I am supposed to call them as soon as I get a positive. I have another appointment Wednesday morning to have an ultrasound done. I will also take in Kirby's third(!) SA. More to come...